She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
