Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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