Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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