I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
