he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Randomize