There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
