brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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