theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
