I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
