My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
