dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
