Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
