Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
