Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
vagina is talking i cant
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
