Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
