i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
