he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
