I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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