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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize