I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
