May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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