My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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