dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
