Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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