is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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