oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
