I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
