Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
