Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something