i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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