I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
