Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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