so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
