; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
