living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
