Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
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oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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