hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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