By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
