i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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