I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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