I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
