STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
