Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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