what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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