My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize