can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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