Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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