My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
