How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Never joke about your clitoris.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
