dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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