you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
