While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
