it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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