Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
