bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?