Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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  (213): he quoted Bring It On. It's over. http://tfl.nu/r2ms
  Replies (10) Good night (949) Bad night (2667)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (12378) Bad night (1303)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4551) Bad night (1047)
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  (760): View more from California

  she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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  (760): she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door. http://tfl.nu/tltu
  Replies (24) Good night (1908) Bad night (4246)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (23) Good night (5776) Bad night (3437)
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  (916): View more from California

  on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.

  (1-916): View more from California

  your optimism is becoming unhealthy

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  (916): on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day. (1-916): your optimism is becoming unhealthy http://tfl.nu/nzqt
  Replies (9) Good night (4505) Bad night (1589)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1325) Bad night (2932)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?

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  (478): First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing? http://tfl.nu/cqnb
  Replies (1) Good night (1559) Bad night (926)
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  (760): View more from California

  Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...

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  (760): Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on... http://tfl.nu/jpo3
  Replies (6) Good night (1165) Bad night (2659)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.

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  (248): He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it. http://tfl.nu/eor8
  Replies (4) Good night (2255) Bad night (566)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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  (585): You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you. http://tfl.nu/gcz1
  Replies (4) Good night (1910) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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  (267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  How do you even...

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.

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  (770): Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit. (865): How do you even... (770): The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course. http://tfl.nu/umgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1127) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong

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  (404): The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong http://tfl.nu/ajvo
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (152)

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