i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
