I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!