I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.