Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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