So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
