Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
