i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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