Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
