I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
